Today should be a great day. It’s Saturday, my Big Green Egg was delivered, and I bought some great meat at Costco to christen it tomorrow. But, it’s not really a great day

Got word this morning that my Grandmother passed away overnight. Now, before everyone goes and floods me with condolences and stuff, it’s ok. Not looking for that. My Grandmother was 7 months short of 100 years old. 100. I’m 33, and I can’t even IMAGINE what it’s like to live that long.
I have a huge family. Had 2 sets of grandparents, then through a series of life events for my parents, added another full set. All of them were
Once my sister and I got old enough, they took us on a trip. One of the best memories I have in life is getting to go to Hawaii with them. We flew from LAX to the big island. Stayed at a hotel for a couple of nights, then got on a cruise ship where we island hopped for a few days. Then flew back. I got to miss a week of school for it, in 6th grade. That trip was priceless to me. We lost Granddad several years back, and that hit me really hard. We knew he had a lot of health issues, but he was always in great spirits. He was “sick” for 10+ years, so it just became normal. Grandmother was never really the same after he was gone. They were married for a couple of decades longer than I’ve even been alive. It’s completely understandable. She’s been struggling with the day to day life stuff a lot for the past year or two. She very obviously was not enjoying herself anymore. It was nothing personal to us, she had just stopped being super active, and started to slip. Personally, the second my health or mind starts to slip to an unrecoverable state, I’m out. I refuse to stay around and suffer. I’m not about that. Because of this mindset, I feel relieved for her. She was having a hard time. She held on for so long. Now it’s ok. This feeling has left me in a weird state. I’m really upset that she’s gone. She was the best. My favorite person ever. But at the same time, I’m relieved that she’s finally gone. I feel like an asshole. I know I shouldn’t because I’m relieved for her with the best of intentions. It just is what it is.
I have a crazy travel schedule all month, but I’ll be making changes at some point in the next two weeks to head out to LaVerne, CA to meet up with everyone. She will be laid to rest in Delano, reunited with Granddad.
Not really sure why I felt the need to blast all this out, but writing seems to make me feel better. Also, I didn’t want to simply post a short tweet about it. She deserved more than that. Hug your family, kids. That’s what is most important in life. Enjoy the time you get.


